I could lie on the ground and weep for eternity, overwhelmed by your love. A love that stretches across time. A love that pierces through suffering. A love that encompasses and embraces. A love that is sweet, gentle, good, great. A love, unconditional. My Abba Father.
Shhh. Shhh. Hey, hey, listen to my voice. You can hear it. Try and focus on it. I am here. I am holding you. You will be ok. You are safe. Hey, hey, hold my hand. Look at me. Look at me, sweetheart. There is nothing there. It’s just us. God is here. He has … More comforting
This blog is important to me. It might just seem to be just a website where I put things I write. But writing on this blog is the first thing I have managed to do consistently since I started struggling. I couldn’t and can’t even keep my room clean for longer than a week. … More i write
What if it’s happening again? What if… what if I am slowly slipping south again? What if this is not just a blip but a line? Maybe this is depression… again… How many days has it been? It’s Friday. A week and a half then. Maybe two weeks? I think it’s two weeks. I forget … More I’m sorry if I slipped
Honestly, I miss my anxiety and depression. I got used to their presence. They have been by my side many nights since I was thirteen. In the last eight months, they have all but been my life. I drew comfort from my pain and suffering. Now it isn’t here in the same force as it … More running from… what?
Lord, you hear the deep cries of my heart. You know how I desire to live in a township and spend days under the sun running through dusty streets. You have made me for Africa in the strangest ways. Africa runs in my veins and its name is engraved on my side. Each time an … More Africa, engraved on my side
It’s so strange being fine. I got used to my suffering. My struggle was what I knew each morning I woke and fell asleep. Anxiety and depression were my daily companions. But these weeks have been different. A brighter morning shines. ”…comfort is found in the familiar and now that’s all changed, in a small way we’re … More a bright morning
I was and am incredibly sensitive. Hurt for me had been a familiar face. I hung onto offence. I buried hurt in my heart till it festered with anger and resentment. I did it over and over with small little fights till it stormed up and created a hurricane in my heart. The hurricane … More a dissipated Hurricane
I had been finding ways to cope with my pain in unhealthy ways. I asked God how to let the pain go, but I didn’t wait to hear. So instead of looking to Him, I tried to hold onto thin cracking branches. I tried screaming and crying; scratching and distracting. I tried writing and fighting; … More surrendering more
I know I should be fine in some weird way. I haven’t felt my anxiety weighing on me, but I’m not ok. … More i am ok?