My heart is tossing and turning inside of me. It rages like the monster of a deadly sea. It calls to the distant haunting of my insecurity, Or what they call a little ‘social anxiety’. A beast that holds me down till I can’t breathe, And leaves me screaming in endless dreams. For monster of … More 1am Anxiety
What if, I am afraid? What if, my fear is in that? My fear, is in the what if? What if? But what if, what followed those two words never happened? What if, it was only the imaginary lifetime I paint? But, not my life. What if, I stopped listening? What if, I knew that … More What if?
So maybe, things will be ok. Maybe I am not sentenced to a drifting life. The heavens are opening up and glorious sunlight washes over me. Perhaps winter really is over. I could live. I can live. Summer has come.
Have I been given a defective mind? Or have I simply not had enough faith? I wait for my mind to fail me. I imagine that it will again. Lord, what plans can you have for a mind like mine? Alright, Lord, I gave you my heart. I gave you all of me. That includes … More This beautiful mind
I suppose I have been trying to find stable ground this week. It felt like I had completely lost touch with reality and it was all my fault. I had a long couple days leading up to Sunday. I was in an advert, had first aid training, did my normal weekly things and went out … More Reality
I have been asked many times what it is like to be a ‘pastor’s kid’. I never really have a set answer. I don’t really remember any different. Before my father led South City Church my parents were still in leadership in the church we came from in South Africa. I don’t know what it is … More Pastor’s Kid?
I hope to never stop being wrecked by God’s great, abundant love. I am no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God. I sang that without truly realising what it meant. I lived as a slave, but I was free. No longer do I have to weep on the ground begging … More Wrecked, by God’s love
I stand in a vast field of short yellowing grass on a raised pillar of white marble. She is beautiful a voice says. My hearts cracks a little. She is my love. A tear escapes. She is mine. I collapse. Flood waters break open and rush into the field, falling from my eyes. The sky … More she is mine, she is always mine.
There is this amazing hope in my heart. A hope that is Christ. A hope that spreads to all on my life. I have hope enough now to make to goals. Hope to believe they are possible through God. Thank you to all who have helped me so much in the last year and a … More GOALS
I want Christ. Living my own way is not enough. I want to be face down, drowning in God. I don’t want control. I am serious. I have had enough of fear. I have had enough of darkness. I want to be wrecked by the love of God every day. I want the secret place … More ENOUGH