I think it has been nearly two months since I last had a panic attack. My depression and anxiety started fading in August and now I can barely feel anything. I am healing.
My life was torn in pieces and my very ability to think straight was violently altered. I spent most of my days this year hiding from pain on my bed. My anxiety and depression left me drowning in panicked agony, slowly losing breath.
It has been the hardest but the best year of my life. God has redeemed it in the great good He has brought out of my suffering. I cannot stop rejoicing. He gave me strength when I was in darkest of places and few people know just how dark things went.
My faith is so much deeper. My endurance, patience, love and joy have all deepened too. Now my heart is quiet and content in what is happening. I trust God. I see hope for the next year and am unafraid. I have not been as unafraid as I am now in all my years.
I will not be unsettled by the ever decreasing nightmares that haunt me of that time. I will not allow flashes of past panic attacks to throw me off.
And the darkness that tormented me – goodbye.
I am unafraid. I am hopeful. My security in is the affirmation of my Lord.
My God, you are ever good and faithful. Thank you.