awoken at 12:05am

My brain flickered to a faint consciousness. What in the world was going on?
My mind was bombarded by thought after thought. Thoughts strong and powerful, as if they could be felt. Each wave of ideas and truth woke me up a little more.

I knew it was God and tried to wake myself up as each reflection hit me, not waiting long enough for me to ponder them.

Love. To simply love people.
Go to all nations and make disciples
With the word of our testimony…
Jesus is the saviour of these people, not us.
Jesus is the hero.
You must first love.
Go and show them, my love.
Sidekick to His work.
A vessel.
A humble life.

My brain swirled with what I knew was being said to me. I sat up, slumped over, unable to open my eyes. My body was fogged in sleep. A restlessness sat in my bones and I saw the people the words spoke of.

Visions of tin rooftops and mansions, of rich people and poor people, of the neighbour’s kids and faces I did not know fell through my view.

Compelling words kept rushing in.

Love them as you love your closest friend.
Speak of your salvation.
Give a reason for the hope you have found…
Come as a friend.
Follow the word I gave you.
The scriptures show you the what to do.
Do not heed to the ways this world does things, but mine.
Preach the good news.

It was strange. These words I had heard and read, but now intertwined. I was confused at what was happening. Despite that, I fully understood what was being said.

I rolled my head back, trying to shake the sleep off me.

“God.”

I rolled off my bed and onto my back on the floor.

“I hear you, Lord.”

The thoughts began to subside, but the restlessness did not. I felt the call to love. I felt it. I felt it with passion. I know not how long this carried on for, but it continued to disrupt my body.

Slowly my sweat drenched body, straining under a sleeping tablet, stopped tossing. Never did I ever wake up during the night having taken a sleeping tablet, but despite being barely able to open my eyes; my mind had woken. As thoughts gently sifted in my head sleep quietly found me again three hours after I woke.


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