I have walked this road oblivious to what was happening.
My own emotions left me out in the dust.
I buried pain and anger unknown to myself.
Then January 6th I hit the roof and I was gone.
Two weeks later I set off again,
Three hours long did the panic ensue.
6 months gone by and it became a weekly theme.
My anger and pain had been surfaced.
Now I dealt with emotions I did not know.
The beat of my heart echoed in empty halls.
Isolation wrapped itself around my every hope.
Four weeks now and I do not panic,
But pain causes dangerous habits.
Eating, Obsessing, Hurting, Distraction.
I attempt all to capture oblivion in vain.
Five years now I didn’t surrender hurt to God,
I sought all else before Him first.
Each event built up in me undealt with.
Now unearthed and reemerged, God shows me surrender.
On a road to the end, being moulded after Christ.