not Dealing with pain

I have walked this road oblivious to what was happening.

My own emotions left me out in the dust.

I buried pain and anger unknown to myself.

Then January 6th I hit the roof and I was gone.

Two weeks later I set off again,

Three hours long did the panic ensue.


6 months gone by and it became a weekly theme.

My anger and pain had been surfaced.

Now I dealt with emotions I did not know.

The beat of my heart echoed in empty halls. 

Isolation wrapped itself around my every hope. 


Four weeks now and I do not panic,

But pain causes dangerous habits.

Eating, Obsessing, Hurting, Distraction.

I attempt all to capture oblivion in vain. 


Five years now I didn’t surrender hurt to God,

I sought all else before Him first.

Each event built up in me undealt with.


Now unearthed and reemerged, God shows me surrender.

On a road to the end, being moulded after Christ.



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