I had a dream awhile ago. In the dream, I was inside my room when a pressure began to violently build. A pressure of panic attacks, stress, pain and anxiety. I thought to myself in the dream maybe I could release it by running. So God told me in the dream to try running around the house to release the pressure. I felt a burning panic and pain surging as I began to run. Faster and faster the burn pushed me. I ran and ran and the burn kept going. It wasn’t working, I thought it would work. It just kept getting worse.
But then something happened and I began to suddenly start jumping. Then my feet no longer touched the ground and I began flying. Gravity’s fear no longer held me. Something had been lifted off me. As my arms spread wide I kept soaring higher and higher. The feeling in my heart was like the cry of an eagle. My feet flitted across the tops of golden crisped clouds basking in the sun. I wished I could linger there and never come down. I felt the presence of God so sweetly. It was heavenly.
A day after the dream, it’s meaning hit me and I realised what it happened. I only began to fly when God took the weight of my burden. I thought it was something I had to do to offload the pain and tension. I kept thinking that maybe if I got a freedom like running I could release it. I thought I needed physical freedom. He showed me that my own ways are not what gives me relief but Him. He lifted off the pressure so I could begin to fly. He sets my heart free, not me.
I have tried to control the stemming of my pain. I have denied God control over my suffering. He gives me relief when I let go.