How am I worthy of my God? How am I worthy enough to be His daughter? How could He choose me to do His work? I am a mess. I mean really, I am a complete mess. Getting through the day is an accomplishment. What did you do today Ashleigh? I did nothing. I mean I read, slept, listened to music, wrote, wandered through my house, stared at walls and aimlessly scrolled through Facebook. But I made it through another day. That is what I have done for weeks upon weeks since the beginning of march.
Why would God choose me?
God chooses the broken and weak. God chooses the hurting and sinful. God chose us. I still wonder at how great He must be to do that. He is always there for me.
Last night when I lay in bed fearful, He calmed my heart and rocked me to sleep. When I went for a walk this morning with my dog, vicious dogs moved into my path. He sent a man to rush me behind him and shield me from them. When I began to panic on Sunday He placed somebody there to pull me to safety. I always have clothes to wear even when I don’t buy them often, but say goodbye to them often. When I have called out to Him in moments of despair and sudden calmness has rushed over my soul. When I prayed for a community, for believers who I could closely fellowship with; He gave me a fellowship. When I run He pulls me close. When I fight He holds my fists. When I am weak He is strong. When I am broken He makes me whole.
That is our God. That is our flipping God! I give you my heart Lord. I give you my brokenness. I give you all I can even if it pales in comparison to what you give me. Hallelujah God. Hallelujah!