I saw through the pieces of the fractured mirror that I was an emotional, pathetic creature. In the shards, I observed a person whom people didn’t want to be with or talk to. When I asked the mirror on the wall if I was joyous and loving, it laughed in my face. However, I would keep coming back to it. I would keep trying to rearrange its pieces to show me what I wanted to see. It never did.
I had forgotten about the ten-year-old Ashleigh who sang praises to God for hours in her room. I had forgotten the joy of God’s strength leading me on. I thought I was following Him right, but it was merely a facade. An emptiness haunted me. I asked the mirror again and again, why?
I had this feeling that nothing would ever change. A feeling that something was plaguing me that I could never name. So for a long time, I struggled through the mud as I focused on the mirror. The foundation of who I was, was built on a bouncy castle full of air which deflated every time a glass piece came flying out of nowhere.
The love I seek most of all casts out fear and heals my soul. Is God himself. So, I do not need a mirror upon which to gaze but a Father whose love is clearer than it’s glassy haze. It is not the cuts and reflections of a broken mirror that must be fixed. But where the gaze of my identity lay. God will show me who I am, and who I am is in His grace.
See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:1-2
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:1-3