There is a dull ache in my heart. I am an observer of the life that flows around me. My heart beats thud, dunk, thud, dunk. I am not of the beat, but merely a hearer of the beat.
What of the beat of the African drum that my heart has danced to? What of the parade of joy marching in and out of its valves? What of the overflowing love seeking a release? Now there is nothing but the empty beat: thud, dunk, thud, dunk.
God, rescue me from this place. This barren desert of sorrows. This hopeless view of tomorrow.
I have felt this confusion, this whirlwind of doubt. What has happened to my mind? What has happened to my heart? I don’t want this is. I don’t know what it means. It is an ocean of turmoil striving to pull me under. Lord, help me see the day!
Then, it cleared for a moment and there was a realisation. I feel depressed. I know these waters, waters I haven’t seen for awhile. Their taste is bitterly familiar. It is poisoning my every thought.
I have to push at the waters, trying to remember what saved me before. What was my life raft? Don’t forget before the waters take you again, it was God. Remember, you can’t save yourself. He saved you! He saved you.
When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.