I want something INSANE

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I don’t want a big house, a big car and the American dream. I don’t want to spend my life chasing somebody else’s things. I want something different that I know God has for me. I want something insane.

I want to live in my car, one pair of shoes or two. I want to go to those places that call out my name. I want to live in a township among my people. I want to see India, the India hid from the tourist’s eye. I want a tattoo, maybe another piercing. Maybe I’ll dye my hair or chop it all off. Maybe I’ll get a cat, hmm actually no, I’d rather get a dog. Maybe I’ll do none of these or all of the above. But none of this matters because I want to live for Christ and that is all. Susie Howe, Mother Teresa, Heidi Baker.

It is to be different for me. I may die in prison in a crying land. I may see the pain of suffering souls. I may feel the suffering of my own soul. Through the suffering, I know God will mould me. So let the insane come. Let the insane rage, because I want to live the life that is meant for me. A Christ pleasing life is for me.

See what I see, the joy in these things! See me roaming the roads in pursuit of His will. See my family in a village I have yet to met. See the souls transformed by my Lord. See the heart freed by His love through me. See the songs of praise sung deep into the night. Or the joy of a child I have yet to find. The son or the daughter, not born to me but mine. Then one day when I have lived out my life, I go home to be with my Father. I don’t what is to come, but trust God for He will never let me down.


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